


Can't be saved

by Blepbean



Category: Tythan - Fandom
Genre: A bit of gore, Angst, Depression, Emotional Support, Fanfiction, Fighting for their lives, High School AU, Honestly this fanfic is a mess, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Original Characters - Freeform, Sad, Suicide, Tythan, and a pinch of fluff, not for the faint hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 12:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: “Tyler, you can’t save me.” He said, his voice sounded lifeless. Tyler dropped his bag onto      the floor.[Ethan is in the verge of losing hope, not caring anymore, but then he finds Tyler and finds the hope he’s been craving for. But everything has a price...]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a shit chapter sorry, had a writers block when writing this smh

Ethan looked himself in the mirror, he felt so, so done. With everything, bullying, school, his dad addicted to alcohol,drugs and low income from his family. He just needed everything to stop. Ethan sat down in the floor, looking at the bare walls in his room. He noticed something under his bed, Ethan squinted his eyes to see a teddy bear. His heart sank, he grabbed it and held it close.  
“When did everything go so wrong, so fast?” Ethan said, tears formed in his eyes. He sat there for five minutes until he got up and walked to school.

”Ethan!”  
Ethan looked up to see everyone looking at him, his face went red.  
“Where and when was the creator of TV born?” His teacher asked. His mind was blank, his life crumbling down. He felt like doing something, fix his dropping grades. But it was like watching a house burn.  
“Please pay attention.”  
Ethan sat up straight, trying to pay attention to the class. But he felt so empty, he fixed his hair and stared at the wall.

Tyler looked through a window while moving to his next class. He saw someone, a kid with blue hair. He recognized who it was, the guy who had rumors to be queer. He saw him once in the hallways, his hood on.  
“Hurry up.” Said one of his friends, he took one last look at the window.  
“Coming.”  
Tyler walked faster to catch up with his friends, he noticed something at a locker. He stopped and took a closer look. Sticky notes stuck on the locker, he read the words out loud.  
“Faggot.”  
Tyler dropped the note on the floor.  
“I will catch up with you guys.” Tyler yelled, it looked like they didn't even noticed.  
Tyler took of the notes off the locker, after that he walked off. Thinking who would do such a thing.

The sound of the bell rung in the room, everyone rushed out of their seats. Soon after he was the only one left besides his teacher. Ethan grabbed his books and went to the hallway, the hallway was full of students walking everywhere. He walked through the crowds, putting his stuff away Ethan noticed something in the floor. Sticky notes dropped to the floor near his locker. He bent down and picked it up. Ethan read the note, he looked around the mass of people to see who did it. No one turned their heads.  
Ethan walked around a corner and into the toilet, where he usually hid for the rest of the lunch. He locked himself inside the cubicle and looked down at the floor. He saw his own reflection, but it wasn't him he saw. He saw someone else, it wasn't him. Someone who was just black, just empty. His thought was interrupted when his phone vibrated.

He took it out and looked at the bright screen, someone messaged him.  
~Hey Ethan  
Who was this? Another person who would be friends with him then turn him down, humiliate him, use him?  
Ethan put his phone away, when the bell rang.  
The rest of the day for Ethan, was to say the least. Not bad, he didn't want to sit in a corner and cry, go home and be alone forever or just want to die. Then it all shambled when at the end of the day. When he got home, something happened.  
“Mum I'm home.” He yelled.  
Ethan closed the door behind him, the house was quiet like usual. Ethan went to his room and locked himself in. His dad knocked on the door, loud.  
“Ethan the fucking door


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention  
> ~ Means message btw

Ethan turned around, he felt hesitant at first about opening the door to his Father. There was something odd about his voice, kind of slurred. His palms suddenly went clammy as he turned the knob. His Father barged in, almost dropping the beer he was holding.  
“You ungrateful piece of shit,“ said his Father.  
Ethan was thrown into the ground. His father slapped him in the face.  
“I told you to get more beer, why didn’t you get some.” His Father paused. “I RAISED YOU AND FED YOU THIS IS HOW YOU PAY ME BACK.” Ethan was suddenly picked up and thrown into the wall. As soon as he tried to scream his Father strangled him, he can barely breathe. His throat grasping for air.  
Ethan tried to break free out of his hands, but it was no use. His Father let go of Ethan, he collapsed onto the floor. Ethan gasped for air, Tears in his eyes. His father spoke.” One more time, and you’re thrown into the streets.” He said in a serious tone. He left the room, leaving Ethan sitting in the floor. He sat there, looking out of the window. wishing for someone to get him, and take him away. After what seemed like hours Ethan stood up, and laid in his bed. Just giving him comfort, a little bit.

“Mum, I’m home.” Said Tyler, he went to the fridge and grabbed the nearest drink in his arms length. His Mum stood there after he closed the fridge.  
“Where were you? it’s 7 pm. I was worried about you, I told you to get back home before 6. I’ve called you, you weren’t answering. Tyler where were you?” Tyler sighed, he tried to look at sorry as possible. “Ma I’m sorry, had to stay back. School work.” Said Tyler, walking to his room. “Well why didn’t you answer your phone?” Asked his Mum. Tyler was halfway to his room. “Librarian said no phone calls, sorry Ma. I will try to call you when I’m going to be late.” Tyler closed the door, he realized he hasn’t thought of that boy. Tyler sat on his bed and took out his phone.  
~Hey Ethan, please answer me.Tyler didn’t know why he cared about him, it’s something about him. Like he’s hiding something, Ethan’s hurt. After five minutes of looking at his screen Tyler gave up on a reply. He turned off his phone and turned on his laptop. 

‘Should I answer him?’The question was the only thought in his mind, it was the same number from the guy who texted him a while a go.  
‘Don't answer, it's a stranger. Or you're going to get your self humiliated.’  
Ethan fell to the trap, he answered.  
~Who are you? And how did you get my number? ~Hi Ethan  
~Answer my question, who are you? And how did you get my number? ~That’s not important, My name is Tyler. Ethan didn’t care about how the person got his number or who that person is. Its been 3 years when he talked to someone, someone that wanted to talk to him, actually didn’t ignore him. But he know this is going to be all a lie. He knew he was going to humiliated, but then he didn’t stop himself. ~Hey Tyler, welcome to the person who no one cares about.  
~Hey person that no one cares about. Anyway I’m bored, I just found out your number. I don’t really know you, who are you exactly? ~You mean you haven’t heard about the rumors at my school? Well you probably don’t go to my school anyway.

Tyler lied, everyone knew about him. Tyler laid in his bed, wondering why he is taking interest in Ethan’s life. He took a second to reply. ~No, I don’t think so. Anyway I haven’t done a proper introduction to you stranger. Hi I’m Tyler and I like dank memes. ~OK Mr. I love dank memes. Do you know the pepe meme? ~Nah fam, dat shit is dead lol. Put that back in 2013? 14?His door swung open. His mother went inside to his room without even bothering to knock.  
”Someone’s calling you on the phone.” Said his Mother, waving around the phone. Tyler reluctantly got up and put his phone away. He thought of Ethan that boy. Behind that happy bit of texts lies secrets, bad emotions and sadness. Something tells him that, something odd, the way he texts, that morning he saw him in his class. Tyler closed the door behind him, leaving his phone in his room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof  
> Idk what to put in here tbh, why do u guy even read my stuff  
> Btw so much thirteen reasons why references, watch it it's good

~ How did you know my name, Tyler?  
Ethan stared onto the blank white screen in his phone, the streams is text have stopped. Tyler, made him feel. Kind of OK, the feeling that everything is going to be all right. He put down the phone, then the usual feeling came back to him. He looked up in the ceiling until he somehow falling into sleeping.

(Time skip /(-.-(/ k)

Ethan closed the door behind him as the cold winter air hit his face. Who was that person? He started walking, but then he noticed something. There was another person walking on the opposite footpath, wearing a grey beanie, his hair curly.   
The yellow and white logo of his school was clearly seen in his jumper. The too long pants almost touching the ground.  
Ethan took one more glance at him, he didn't want to get caught looking. 

For the first time Ethan felt, kind of calm. Like something is somehow going his way, but this has happened before. Then his hopes and dreams shattered into a million pieces. Ethan didn't want that to happen, he would never let that happen.   
He shivered at the winter wind, his breath puffed out little tiny clouds. Like the ones on the sky. He remembered when he once layed down in the grass, looked up into the sky and saw clouds, but not just any clouds. Dragons, wizards, castles. That was years before, before he was hurt. 

“Dream big, they say. Shoot for the stars. Then they lock us up for 12 years and tell us where to sit, when to pee and what to think. Then we turn 18, and even though we've never had an original thought, we have to make the most important decision of our lives. And if you don't have the money and don't have the grades, a lot of the decision gets made for you-“  
He took out the earphones, Ethan suddenly remembered that it was the day. He didn't pay enough attention to hear what it was. All he remembered is where different colleges come to the school… that's it.  
How is he even going to college? His grades are dropping, and his family doesn't care a single thought about his future or his education.   
Ethan didn't want to go the gym. He can't bare the fact that he has to make the most important decision of his life, suddenly someone tapped on the shoulder. 

“Ethan, can you please follow me. Don't worry your not in trouble.” Said Mr. Clay. Ethan followed him into the office, he sat down. The hourglass on his desk slowly fell into the other glass. Mr. Clay cleared his throat before he sat down.   
“Ethan, are you thinking what university to pick.” He said, Ethan nodded his head, as just as he was about to speak Mr. Clay interrupted him.   
“Your grades, are dropping Ethan.” He said, he opened the report card and read them out loud. Ethan knew the choices that he wanted, isn't available. The choices are already being made for him, like the girl said in the cassette tape…  
“Sir,” Ethan said.” Can I still go to the college that I want?” He said, Mr. Clay shook his head.  
“I'm sorry Ethan but it doesn't look like it. I mean your grades were high at the beginning of the year, but it gradually dropped. You don't have much of a choice Ethan.”   
Ethan wasn't surprised, he grabbed his bag and stood up.   
“Thanks anyway Mr. Clay.” He said.

Ethan didn't really care, His family doesn't even have the money to go to college. The one Mr. Clay chose for him is the cheapest, he sighed.   
“If only something was going right for me once.” He mumbled, He went to his locker.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a quick grammar check but I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at any moment tbh.   
> Anyway onto the fanfic

A gust of wind flew by the window, strong enough to knock down Ethan’s paper’s.  
He bent down to pick it up when a sudden hand appeared on view.   
The person smiled at Ethan.  
“Here.” The person said as he stood up. It was the person who was walking in the footpath. He passed him his loose papers.   
“I'm Tyler.” He said, smiling. He was, cheery. Like a vibrant glow, colours was saturated around Tyler. He was like a light, that would never go out.   
“I'm Ethan.”  
The cherry blossom petals blew inside, between him and Tyler. It was like a classic movie cliche, he wanted to stay there forever. The way he smiles back at him, the way he stands.   
“It's like a movie cliche.” Tyler said as he walked past Ethan, patting him in the shoulder.   
The sound of the ringing bell snapped Ethan out of the feeling, he stared as the crowds of people swarming in.   
“Are you OK.” Said Mr Clay, catching Ethan off guard.   
“I'm fine sir, thanks. For asking.” He said. Ethan walked to his next class, the usual nothingness inside wasn't there. It was replaced by something. He asked himself what emotion it was.  
“Yes.” He mumbled to himself.  
“Isn't it called happiness?” 

(A tiny time skip)

Ethan spun the pencil in his desk, watching it go around and around.   
He looked around to see everyone gone. the eerie silence was the only thing present.   
“Hello?” He said, walking to peek out into the hallway. Nothing.   
Ethan walked out into the hallway, his footsteps echoing in the hallway.   
A locker opened in front of him. Muted sounds came from it, he walked cautiously towards it, the sounds getting louder and louder.   
The sound was coming from a cassette tape player, Ethan put on the headphones. Then he realised what it was.   
“12 etudes, OP. 10:Etude No 4 in C-Sharp Minor, OP 10, NO 10.” He muttered. The notes frantically going everywhere, ballistic. It was weird to somehow remember that, another classic piece. To him though, it held a dark story behind it. His past.  
Ethan dropped the cassette tape player, shattering. He sat in the floor. Tears forming in his eyes.

Tyler watched as Ethan looked at his desk, not doing anything besides spinning the pencil. It was something there to it, not like your bored, or spaced out. Something about how he slouched, it was like he was about to cry. The sudden stop to the classical music piece that his teacher made the class listen to made Tyler look at the front instantly.   
“For this Project.” Mr. Clive said, getting things out of his bag.   
“You will need a partner, research about Chopin, a polish composer and a virtuoso pianist.” He said.  
Tyler saw Ethan drop the pencil, it was something about Chopin. To Ethan it held a great meaning behind it, a story about his past. Dark.   
“Ethan are you OK?” Asked Mr. Clive. Ethan sat up straight, caught off guard.  
“Yes Mr. Clive.” Ethan answered.”Just a little tired, had to stay up at 2 to work on something.” He finished off with a smile.  
“Just-Just try to pay attention.”   
The sound of the ringing bell rang in the classroom. Students left their seats as   
Mr. Clay tried to talk people into joining the music club.

Ethan quickly left his seat, grabbing his books and walking out, like nothing even happened. He suddenly saw someone in the middle of the hallway, with a black grand piano. The woman dressed in patients clothes, she sat down in the piano stool.   
Ethan walked closer. It was complete silent, the sounds of the busy hallway was muted.   
Her fingers gracefully danced onto the keys, playing the same piece like in his nightmares.  
“12 etudes, OP. 10:Etude No 4 in C-Sharp Minor, OP 10, NO 10.” He said, looking at her.   
She looked straight at Ethan. Slowing down her playing. Her smile changed into a frown. She stopped playing the piano. She looked angry, fierce at Ethan. She stood up as her knees shook, she collapsed onto the hallway floor. Ethan stood there watching it happen, he can't tell what is real or what isn't real anymore.   
A sudden hand onto his shoulder stopped Ethan from going on further into his memories. The piano vanished, the woman vanished, the piano stool vanished. The sounds of the hallway made Ethan jump a little bit.  
“Are you OK?” Tyler said. Ethan snapped back to reality, he sighed.  
“Yeah I'm fine, just tired.” Ethan said as he stretched out his arms.  
“You sure? You seriously look like you seen a ghost.”  
“Well maybe taking 2 cups of coffee at night wasn't a good idea.” Ethan turned around to smile at Tyler.  
Tyler nodded, he walked past Ethan, staring at where he was looking. A ray of light beamed down in front of him, a tear splashed down into the floor.   
“Why,” Ethan said.” Why…”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This tooooooooooook me forever, sorry for the lack of updates imma be more active in the next two weeks.  
> K imma go reward myself with food and video games bye :P

Ethan closed the locker door when a sudden force pushing him into the floor, dropping his books. He groaned as people looked at him, whispering. The three boys walked off, laughing. Ethan collected his books as he felt people stare at him, watching his every move. He caught a quick glimpse of Tyler, in he middle of the hallway. Picking himself up Ethan continued on walking, still feeling people stare at him.  
“Ethan,” said Tyler. Scratching his head.  
“Go away Tyler.” He said as he began walking a little bit faster to get to his class.  
“Wait.”  
Ethan turned around, annoyed. Tyler walked towards him.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I don't know.”  
“I just like met you today, I think.”  
“Yeah.”  
……  
……  
……  
Tyler awkwardly stood there as Ethan looked at him.  
“I need you to be my partner for the music project.” Tyler said, managing to break the awkwardness.  
Ethan opened his mouth, but stopped himself. What was he going to say? He can't explain the mess of the life he lives in right now, it just bares too much memories. He wished to forget.  
“Tyler,” Ethan said as he thought of something to say.” I'm sorry, I-I can't.”  
Ethan walked off, leaving Tyler standing there in the middle of the hallway. The school bell rang.  
“Well I will just have to find another way to get him to be my partner.” Tyler said, smiling devilishly. Then he realised he’s smiling that way and quickly felt dumb.

(Time skip hmmmmmm)

Rain heavily fell as Ethan got out outside, the buzz of the students getting on buses.  
He got to admit, he loved the rain. It gave him a sense of calm, watching the rain droplets splash onto the ground. Ethan brought out the umbrella as he started walking. The tiny wells of water in the in uneven footpath, the leaves dripping with water. Temperatures dropped as a wind went by, it suddenly rained heavier.  
“Shit…” he mumbled. As a car went driving past him, dripping him wet as it splashed him with dirty water from a nearby puddle. His legs felt frozen.  
Ethan’s mind wandered as the sounds of the rain hitting his umbrella, so it did give him a sense of calm. He sighed as he went inside, Ethan sighed. Feeling the warmth of the heater. As just as he was about to take a step Ethan heard, someone crying?  
He peeked into the living room, there he saw his Father, holding a photo of his mother smiling and waving, bottles of beer cluttered onto the carpet. Ethan remembered that day as she went to live in a farm with her Mother for one week, the sun setting and the fields of corn gently swaying in the wind.  
He felt… sorrow as Ethan walked to his room, surprised to see his Father like that.

Ethan put aside his bag on top of his bed, he sat in the large window sill. Watching the rain fall, making quiet tapping noises as it hit the window. Ethan put his headphones in, loving the little moments where you can sit and watch rain go by.  
A sudden knock in the window made Ethan jump, Tyler smiled at him.  
“Tyler what are you doing here?!?! And what are you doing out in the rain, you're going to get sick.”  
Ethan got out of his room to check if his Father heard it.  
“Open the window.” Tyler knocked on the window, his voice muted. Ethan lifted it up and rain soon wet his face and the ground, Tyler climbed through the window. His clothes soaked.  
“What are you thinking?” Ethan asked, he grabbed a nearby towel.  
“I'm not failing this class Ethan, pleaseeeeeeeeee be my partner.” Tyler grabbed the towel off him.  
“Tyler I already told, I-I can't.”  
Tyler looked at him, he pinched Ethan’s cheek. Ethan made a face at him.  
“Well no pizza for you” Tyler said.  
“Fine.”  
“That’s the only response I’m going to get?”  
“I’m just in it for the pizza Tyler.”  
“So.” Ethan said, trying to not make eye contact with Tyler.”Who’s paying?”  
“Me!” Tyler said, going outside by the window.He looked at Ethan, smiling.

“Come on Ethan!” He said, pulling him in to the rain. Ethan whined.  
“But my Father, and I don't want to-“ Ethan got pulled into the rain, he fell onto the ground. Ethan looked up to see Tyler dancing in the rain, Ethan thought he looked. Naive. So young and so innocent, like a child. Happy and energetic.  
“We’re not 17 forever you know Ethan?” Tyler said, he stopped and turned around.  
There, that dammed smile that kept Ethan from wanting more of this happiness around him.  
Ethan picked himself up, looking up to see the the usual grey clouds. Tyler took Ethan’s hand.  
“Where are we going?” Ethan asked, Tyler stopped walking.  
“We’re going, somewhere, on an adventure.” Tyler said.  
Ethan looked behind him. His heart suddenly dropped. His eyes swelled with tears. His mind is playing with him again.  
It’s the vision of his Mother again, with the black grand piano.  
_I want to move forwards ___  
Ethan stopped walking.  
_Why am I like this? ___  
“Sorry Tyler,” Ethan said. His voice monotone.  
_But my past keeps dragging me back ___  
“I can’t go with you.”  
“Ethan I’ll-“  
_This always happened to me, I let my past and my emotions take the better of me ___  
The sound of the rain hitting the ground filled the silence.  
Ethan let go of Tyler’s hand, Ethan walked back to the window.  
_I could have been happy ___  
Ethan crawled through the window. His clothes soaking wet, he closed the window.  
_Please, let me forget about the past ___  
He sat in the window sill, trying to get his emotions in check. The rain didn’t appeal to him anymore. It didn’t make him calm anymore, it didn’t look pretty anymore. It made him guilty, angry. It made reminded him of his past, it’s like a curse.  
“I’m hopeless Tyler, why does it have to be me?.” He said, his voice breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plllzz give feedback at the comments to help me improve on dem juicy fanfiction slurp, idk why I did that but thanks for reading <3


	6. Chapter 6

Ethan closed the locker door when a sudden force pushing him into the floor, dropping his books. He groaned as people looked at him, whispering. The three boys walked off, laughing. Ethan collected his books as he felt people stare at him, watching his every move. He caught a quick glimpse of Tyler, in he middle of the hallway. Picking himself up Ethan continued on walking, still feeling people stare at him.  
“Ethan,” said Tyler. Scratching his head.  
“Go away Tyler.” He said as he began walking a little bit faster to get to his class.  
“Wait.”  
Ethan turned around, annoyed. Tyler walked towards him.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I don't know.”  
“I just like met you today, I think.”  
“Yeah.”  
……  
……  
……  
Tyler awkwardly stood there as Ethan looked at him.  
“I need you to be my partner for the music project.” Tyler said, managing to break the awkwardness.   
Ethan opened his mouth, but stopped himself. What was he going to say? He can't explain the mess of the life he lives in right now, it just bares too much memories. He wished to forget.  
“Tyler,” Ethan said as he thought of something to say.” I'm sorry, I-I can't.”  
Ethan walked off, leaving Tyler standing there in the middle of the hallway. The school bell rang.   
“Well I will just have to find another way to get him to be my partner.” Tyler said, smiling devilishly. Then he realised he’s smiling that way and quickly felt dumb.

(Time skip hmmmmmm)

Rain heavily fell as Ethan got out outside, the buzz of the students getting on buses.  
He got to admit, he loved the rain. It gave him a sense of calm, watching the rain droplets splash onto the ground. Ethan brought out the umbrella as he started walking. The tiny wells of water in the in uneven footpath, the leaves dripping with water. Temperatures dropped as a wind went by, it suddenly rained heavier.   
“Shit…” he mumbled. As a car went driving past him, dripping him wet as it splashed him with dirty water from a nearby puddle. His legs felt frozen.  
Ethan’s mind wandered as the sounds of the rain hitting his umbrella, so it did give him a sense of calm. He sighed as he went inside, Ethan sighed. Feeling the warmth of the heater. As just as he was about to take a step Ethan heard, someone crying?  
He peeked into the living room, there he saw his Father, holding a photo of his mother smiling and waving, bottles of beer cluttered onto the carpet. Ethan remembered that day as she went to live in a farm with her Mother for one week, the sun setting and the fields of corn gently swaying in the wind.  
He felt… sorrow as Ethan walked to his room, surprised to see his Father like that.

Ethan put aside his bag on top of his bed, he sat in the large window sill. Watching the rain fall, making quiet tapping noises as it hit the window. Ethan put his headphones in, loving the little moments where you can sit and watch rain go by.   
A sudden knock in the window made Ethan jump, Tyler smiled at him.  
“Tyler what are you doing here?!?! And what are you doing out in the rain, you're going to get sick.”  
Ethan got out of his room to check if his Father heard it.  
“Open the window.” Tyler knocked on the window, his voice muted. Ethan lifted it up and rain soon wet his face and the ground, Tyler climbed through the window. His clothes soaked.  
“What are you thinking?” Ethan asked, he grabbed a nearby towel.   
“I'm not failing this class Ethan, pleaseeeeeeeeee be my partner.” Tyler grabbed the towel off him.  
“Tyler I already told, I-I can't.”  
Tyler looked at him, he pinched Ethan’s cheek. Ethan made a face at him.  
“Well no pizza for you” Tyler said.  
“Fine.”  
“That’s the only response I’m going to get?”  
“I’m just in it for the pizza Tyler.”  
“So.” Ethan said, trying to not make eye contact with Tyler.”Who’s paying?”  
“Me!” Tyler said, going outside by the window.He looked at Ethan, smiling.

“Come on Ethan!” He said, pulling him in to the rain. Ethan whined.  
“But my Father, and I don't want to-“ Ethan got pulled into the rain, he fell onto the ground. Ethan looked up to see Tyler dancing in the rain, Ethan thought he looked. Naive. So young and so innocent, like a child. Happy and energetic.  
“We’re not 17 forever you know Ethan?” Tyler said, he stopped and turned around.   
There, that dammed smile that kept Ethan from wanting more of this happiness around him.   
Ethan picked himself up, looking up to see the the usual grey clouds. Tyler took Ethan’s hand.   
“Where are we going?” Ethan asked, Tyler stopped walking.  
“We’re going, somewhere, on an adventure.” Tyler said.   
Ethan looked behind him. His heart suddenly dropped. His eyes swelled with tears. His mind is playing with him again.   
It’s the vision of his Mother again, with the black grand piano.  
 _I want to move forwards _  
Ethan stopped walking.  
 _Why am I like this? _  
“Sorry Tyler,” Ethan said. His voice monotone.  
 _But my past keeps dragging me back _  
“I can’t go with you.”  
“Ethan I’ll-“  
 _This always happened to me, I let my past and my emotions take the better of me. _  
The sound of the rain hitting the ground filled the silence.  
Ethan let go of Tyler’s hand, Ethan walked back to the window.  
 _I could’ve been happy. _  
Ethan crawled through the window. His clothes soaking wet, he closed the window.  
 _Please, let me forget about the past.”  
He sat in the window sill, trying to get his emotions in check. The rain didn’t appeal to him anymore. It didn’t make him calm anymore, it didn’t look pretty anymore. It made him guilty, angry. It made reminded him of his past, it’s like a curse.   
“I’m hopeless Tyler, why does it have to be me?.” He said, his voice breaking.___________


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello woooooo I feel so hyped man wooo.  
> So the italics are supposed to be for thoughts, flashbacks kinda   
> It’s like 2:43 am I think when I’m doing this. I feel so hyped idk why tbh and not I didn’t take any energy drinks or coffee actually I don’t really feel that hype so lel. Onto the fanfic 
> 
> P.S I’ve used my phone to finish and proof read it and god it was so awkward

_Tyler... you can’t save me, I’m already dead _  
Tyler suddenly woke up, he sat up catching his breath. His whole body sweating under the blanket. Tyler calmed down as he wiped the sweat from his forehead, he sighed. Brushing his hair away from his eyes Tyler looked out of the window. The moon still high up in the sky. Tyler laid down onto the bed, closing his eyes he soon drifted sleep.__

__(Zoom to the morning)_ _

__It’s been weeks since Tyler had seen Ethan, he expected him to be in music class.  
Tyler sat down in his usual spot, he suddenly felt anxious with the absence of Ethan.  
“Alright everyone! Who will present first, in my list.” Mr. Clive said, looking at his papers. Tyler suddenly began to get anxious, what was he going to do?  
“Tyler, who was your partner?” Mr. Clive asked. Tyler stood up, his head looking down.  
“Mr. Clive, Ethan was but... he suddenly disappeared. I tried to do some research but I couldn’t do it with Ethan-“  
“Tyler.” He said, looking at him.  
“I will give a you a free out-of-jail card. I don’t care how you get him to go to school tomorrow. But tomorrow is the deadline for the project.”  
Tyler’s eyes suddenly lit up. He nodded his head.”Thank you Mr. Clive.” Tyler sat down.  
He couldn’t take his mind off Ethan, was he OK? It’s been a week since that event, he didn’t text him or give him a sign. It’s driving him insane.  
_Ethan didn’t... No ___  
The thought suddenly made Tyler choke, No,No, No.  
He couldn’t. 

______Ethan took the flight of stairs, the uneven metal stairs thudding underneath him.  
It looked scarier than the outside, he remembered as a child walking down the street. Then looking at this old building covered in moss, with broken bits of bricks from the walls, it looked something like out of a horror movie. It was barely standing. Ethan swung the door open, into the roof Ethan walked to the edge and sat down, his legs dangling. The grey clouds churned in the sky, a cold wind swept by.  
“What a beautiful day.” 

______Tyler had trouble concentrating, his mind sometimes wandered off. Other times his anxiety levels skyrocketed, he sweated more than usual.  
“Tyler!” Mrs. Taliyah said, crossing her arms. Tyler jolted up, breathing heavily.  
“Sorry Mrs. Taliyah, I-I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” Tyler calmed himself down, he sat up straight.  
“Please pay attention Tyler, we have a test coming up.” Mrs. Taliyah said, she faced everyone in the class and continued talking.  
_Why didn’t you save me Tyler? ___  
_I am dead because of you ___  
_You’re too late ___  
_Tyler please... Help me... ___  
Tyler suddenly screamed in class, he put his face down onto the table. Guilt was everywhere, in his blood, body, mind. Tyler’s breaths was quick and shallow. People murmured in class.  
“Sorry, I-I got-gotta go.” Tyler stood us and grabbed his books, walking into the hallway. He just couldn’t lose anyone anymore, not this one.  
Tyler threw his books onto the lockers, streams of tears ran down his cheek. He sat down on the floor.  
_Et-Ethan... please ___  
His senses suddenly made him stand up, picking up his books from the floor. He wiped his tears from his face. Tyler can’t afford to lose anyone anymore, by his hands. No more.  
Tyler ran to his locker, grabbing his bag he shut his locker. Tyler turned around a corner and opened the doors with force. He ran outside as the grey clouds thickened in the sky, the sun almost setting.  
The sounds of birds tweeting wasn’t there, the usual warmth of last sunlight reaching him wasn’t there. It’s like everything was dead... 

_____________Ethan hummed his favorite song, a sudden lightning bolt appeared on the sky. A thundering sound followed soon after. The sky looked gloomy now, like everything was supposed to die, no life. Small drops of water hit Ethan’s hair, the strong wind tilted the rain, now wetting his face.  
Ethan looked on the ground, the few people walking down the street with their black umbrellas open. The rain started to fall harder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Tyler’s breathing was rapid, puddles on the street started to form. He can feel the rain wet his face as he started to run faster.  
_Is he there? ___  
Tyler thought, slowing down as he reached Ethan’s window.  
No one was there, the poster on the wall fell as Tyler ran back to the streets.  
He can feel his heart in his throat beating faster and faster with each step, his feet hitting puddles making splashes.  
Suddenly Tyler tripped on un-even cement. He tumbled and fell onto the footpath, rolling into a puddle. Drips of rain hit his eyes. Small puffs of clouds  
came out of his mouth as he breathed slowly. His head throbbed with pain.  
_Tyler where are we going? ___  
_We’re going on an adventure ___  
Tyler kneeled in the puddle, drips of water fell from his hair. He grabbed his bag, standing up as his leg ached with pain as he started running.  
It was when he reached his street Tyler stopped running, he winced as he leaned in the lamp post. He looked up at the sky when he saw someone at the roof in an old abandoned building, sitting at the edge. Tyler took a closer look, his heart skipped a beat when he saw who he was.  
“No,” he mumbled. Tyler instantly sprinted inside the building, panicking as he tried to find the flight of stairs. He found it at the corner of the building, the stairs was old and rusty. It looked weak, like it would instantly break. 

___________________Ethan stood up, he stretched his arms. He looked down onto the ground once more.  
“5 storey building,” Ethan mumbled. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________“No, No.” Tyler mumbled, repeating over and over again as he ran up the flight of stairs. His hands are shaking as he took hold of the handrails, he could barely keep it together. He could hear his own breathing.  
“Ethan don’t!” Tyler yelled, slamming the door open. He could see Ethan standing at the edge.  
“Tyler, you can’t save me.” He said, his voice sounded lifeless. Tyler dropped his bag onto the floor.  
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t let go of the past, I’ve tried to let go. The past ruins me, ruins my mind, emotionally, mentally.” He said.  
“My Time has stopped because of this, it will never move. It’s because of what happened to me. Tyler.”  
Tyler kneeled onto the ground, tears streaming down his cheek.  
“No, I can’t let someone die again because of me.” Tyler said.  
“I really can’t be saved,” Ethan said slowly.  
The rain filled the gaps of silence, the soft pitta patter of the rain hitting the ground. The nearby cars driving on the road.  
“Ethan please don’t leave me.” Tyler said, his voice breaking.  
“I can’t afford to lose someone else because of me,” Tyler sobbed.  
“Don’t. please. Ethan. stay. with. me.” He put his face onto his hands. Tears dropped onto the floor like rain. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? I know right I even myself couldn’t believe I’ve written that much. I procastinate a lot (I don’t know if I spelled that a right)

_Don’t. please. Ethan. stay. with. Me _  
His voice echoed in his mind, Ethan paused. He was about to take a step to his death but something stopped him.  
“Please,” Said Tyler.   
_What am I doing? _  
Ethan stared into the grey clouds, rain fell hard on him.  
 _I have no reason to be alive anymore, yet... I’m fighting _  
He slowly took steps backwards. The calm sounds of the rain was still there with a silent sound of someone sobbing.  
 _Is this... hope? _  
Ethan shuddered at the wet clothes he’d been wearing. He sat down in the floor.  
“Wh-what am I doing?” Ethan said, his voice breaking. Streams of tears fall down his cheek. Tyler looked up to see him, looking down onto the ground.  
“Ethan?” He said, standing up to get closer to him. Tyler looked at him, staring down into the ground.   
“It’s OK, you’re OK.” Tyler said, his voice breaking a little bit. He wiped away the tears from his face. Tyler helped Ethan up from the ground, they quickly ran to the white door. The door swung open as Ethan went first.   
The damp smell within the walls hung in the air inside, the muted sounds of the rain hitting the roof. Ethan shuddered when Tyler closed the door, total darkness reached every corner inside.  
 _Thank you, Tyler _  
The thudding sound of the metal beneath them filled the silence, Tyler went ahead of Ethan.  
“Ty-Tyler,” Ethan said, his voice was quiet. Tyler stopped as he was about to take a step, he turned around to face him.  
“Thank you.”   
“Is that it?” Tyler said, putting his hands in his pockets.  
“It’s jus-just that you saved, when I couldn’t save myself.” Ethan looked underneath him, he couldn’t even see underneath him as fog hung around him.   
He looked back at Tyler who was smiling, his usual smile, the smile that was... his.  
It was perfect, even though he wasn’t. He turned around and continued walking down the flight of stairs.  
 _Really, Thank you, Tyler _____________

___________________Once they reached the bottom of the stairs the smell still hung, Ethan walked past Tyler. He stopped once he was outside, the rain had died down a little bit. The fog in the was thick, visibility was just 15 metres.  
“Ethan,” said Tyler.   
“Hmm?”   
Ethan fixed his hair, he looked at Tyler.  
“Take care of yourself.”   
_Please Ethan, take care of yourself _  
Tyler walked past him, their was something odd about him. Like he was keeping his emotions on check, he was fine when he was talking to Ethan a few moments ago.  
“I-I will.”   
_I will, Tyler _______ _ _ _

________________________Tyler wiped tears away from his cheeks.  
 _Dad would have been proud of me, won’t he? _  
A gentle breeze passed by, making the rain hit his face.  
 _I’m sure he would be proud of me for saving someone, but I didn’t... _  
Tyler closed the door as he went in, wiping his feet on the mat.  
“Ma I’m home,” He said, taking off his jacket and looking around the kitchen.  
He wandered to the living room, picking up a fallen photo in the floor. He smiled at the man in the photo with a suit on.   
“Dad,” He said, a tear dropped onto the photo.  
“I’m here as well.”  
Tyler stuffed the photo into his bag, he went to his room and closed the door_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________It’s just... you saved my life _  
Ethan turned the door knob, expecting a sudden bellow from his Father.  
All he got was a silent ticking sound by the clock in the wall.  
“Dad, I’m home from school.” He said, taking off his jacket.  
Ethan peeked into the living room, no one was there besides a black grand piano, like the ones in his visions.  
 _Don’t remember, move on _  
He walked over at the stool, running his fingers over the dusted metal stool.  
Ethan pressed a key in the piano, making a high note.   
“Dad?” Ethan said, pressing another key in the piano.  
Ethan pressed a final key, before leaving.   
“Huh?” He mumbled, looking back at the piano. He swore he heard someone say something.   
“Ethan,” said someone behind him.  
Ethan spun around, but no one was behind him.   
“Hello?” Ethan walked around the house, looking at every room. He couldn’t even find his Father.   
Ethan opened the fridge, looking around inside he found a slice of bacon, milk, eggs and a note?  
He took the note and closed the fridge, leaning on the kitchen bench.   
_Ethan take care of yourself, I’m going away and finding myself. Because of all this that has happened. I left exactly $1000 dollars somewhere in my room, find a job and take care of yourself. I don’t deserve you and you deserve me. _  
The writing on the piece of paper, it looked like it was written a long time ago. He noticed little wrinkles at the sides. The paper itself was stained with black at the corners.  
 _Like it was planned _  
Ethan dropped the piece on the floor, he can’t believe it. No... no....________ _ _


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omg I’m soo sorry for not posting enough, I was sick and tired. I just came back from a writers workshop for writers :) didn’t really help but I got 2days away from school so I’m happy.  
> Ohh and there is slot of weird stuff happening in the italics so plz I’m sorry for any inconvenience   
> And I also procastinate a lot Soz :(  
> Yes I’m alive  
> And there is a bug here some where it’s really weird wtf

_”But darling,” she said. She sat down in the piano stool.” You’re too young to be broken.” ___  
Ethan quickly sat up, his breathing was shallow and rapid. His heart pounding out of his chest.  
Ethan fixed his hair that he dyed back to brown last night, he took a second to calm down.  
“I still can’t believe this is happening.” He talked to him self.  
He sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the alarm clock in his bedside table.  
“How am I going to do this?” Ethan stood up and sighed, wondering how he would even get a job.  
The phone in his pocket suddenly rang, he ignored it as he got into the kitchen, heating up stove.  
The grease quickly popped as he put cracked the egg onto the pan.  
He hummed the chorus of the song, the song that his mother used to play.  
“When was the last time I’ve been like this?” He mumbled.  
Ethan turned off the stove, sliding down the eggs and bacon on the plate.  
Then quickly a thought ran through his head, quickly standing up and walking to his parents room.  
“Where is it?” He said, frantically looking at the closet. When he tossed a green jacket onto the floor he noticed an envelope. Sighing and catching his breathing he tore the top of it.  
“It’s here...” Ethan said, laying the money in the bed.  
“It really is here...”  
He took the $100 bills with him and returned to the table, laying it out in front of him Ethan simply let a tear drop onto the floor.  
_But darling, you’re too young to be broken ___

____Tyler opened the door, peeking out into the hallway he slung the bag on his back,  
Hesitant he stepped out onto the hallway.  
Stepping into the living room he grabbed the keys on the coffee table, Tyler paused as he heard a voice.  
“Where do you think you’re going?” Said his Mother, Tyler turned around.  
“I-I’m going to work.”  
His Mother walked closer to him, putting down her cup of coffee.  
“Are you leaving me like your older brother!” She yelled, grabbing hold of Tyler.  
She tugged on him as he tried to walk away.  
“I’m not-“  
“Don’t leave me!”  
Tyler looked at her face, her cheeks was stained with tears. She looked... terrified.  
Her eyes widened as he let go of her grip.  
Tyler pushed her away from him, she hit the wall with a thud. She quickly stood up and walked closer to him.  
“Tyler you’re not leaving me!” Tyler looked at her, he walked slowly walked away.  
“Tyler don’t leave me!” She yelled, Tyler paused as he reached for the door knob.  
He turned around as he saw his Mother approach him.  
Tyler pushed the door open and ran outside, he can feel the wind hit his face.  
Stopping for breath he gasped for air, laying against a brick wall he looked at his hands.  
_”Tyler look at me, look at my face” ___  
Tyler covered his face with his hands, hands stained with tears and sweat.  
_”Run, go run away. Run away from here.” His Father said, his face covered in mud ___  
Tyler sat down in the cold, hard ground. Mouth quivering  
_”No-No-No, Dad No!” Tyler grabbed his Father’s hands, slowly dragging him forwards. Tyler cried out in pain as he slipped in the slippery mud. ___  
_”Tyler, save yourself, promise me you will live. Run away from here Tyler! Run” ___  
Tyler stopped, looking at his Father like a dead body... __  
_”I-I” __  
“Run...Tyler... please.”_

__

__

____ < ________Ethan walked along the silent footpath, the stones crunching beneath his feet.  
The sudden glow of light from Clay’s cafe came into view, the C in the sign flickering a little bit in the sudden block of the sun from a cloud.  
Ethan quickly quickened his pace as he opened the glass door. As Ethan expected the feeling of busy murmurs and the chatter of business man from movies, waiters busy moving left and right with trays on their hands. All was there in the Cafe was a silent tap of a spoon hitting a cup and a silent conversation on a phone.  
“Hello?” He called out, walking over to the counter.  
Ethan looked around, the Cafe looked gloomy... looked, uninviting. The green moss started to form in the corners of the walls, the lights above him kept flickering and buzzed occasionally.  
“Hi!” Said an unusually cheery girl, putting down a tray on the counter. Tiny spills of oil was clear seen on her grey apron.  
“Hi, is this the Cafe that was on the-“  
The blonde waitress quickly smiled, dragging Ethan away to a little table in a corner.  
“OMG It’s exciting when a new member joins the team.” She said when they both sat down.  
“I’m Sarah, and I’m the manager at Clay’s Cafe.” Sarah held out her hand, Ethan awkwardly shook her hand. She wore too much red lipstick on her lips, hazel eyes and ponytail she tightly wore.  
“What would i would be doing while I’m here?” Ethan asked, not making eye contact with her.  
“For every newbies, they start at cleaning!” She stood up and went to the kitchen, walking back to the table with a paper.  
“Then they go to the kitchen. That’s how the cycle goes.”  
She handed the piece of paper once she sat down. Ethan stared at the paper.  
“How much will I’ll be-“  
“So are you in the family?” She asked.  
“Uhh... yeah.”  
Ethan’s phone suddenly rung, she looked at him and smiled.  
“Go, take the call.”  
Ethan smiled and walked away, going outside he smelt the grease from inside.  
“Hello?” Ethan answered.  
“Ethan where are you.”  
“Tyler, I’m at Clay’s Cafe. The really shitty Cafe from downtown. Why?”  
“We-we need to talk.” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhhh I’m sorry I haven’t written for a while  
> Btw this ending of the chapter is a bit weird lol  
> Oh and it say 19 chapters idk why lol

“What do you mean?” Said Ethan. He looked around him as a red sports car sped past him.  
“Meet me at the Cafe tomorrow, I need to talk to you with something.”  
“Tyler I-“  
The call ended, Ethan slightly worried walked back to the Cafe. The sudden bright lights and stench of grease hit his face.  
Sarah suddenly appeared from under the counter, smiling she gave the uniform to Ethan.  
“Wait were starting now?” Ethan asked, looking down at the mustard uniform.  
“Yeah, now go change.” Sarah said with a smile.  
Ethan turned a corner and entered the bathroom. The light above him flickered on and off, he could barely see. The dirty bathroom mirror stared back at him, the white tiles on the floor was cracked. Ethan simply didn’t want to go into the toilet cubicle as he saw a green stain on the wall.  
“Gotta do it for the money,” He muttered. The bright mustard uniform waved in front of him like a flag.  
After five minutes of not trying to touch the walls of the bathroom, Ethan came out of the bathroom. Glad he didn’t have to see the walls for a little while.  
Sarah greeted him as he turned around the corner.  
“You look amazing in the uniform!” She squealed, touching the collar of the uniform.  
Sarah gave him a mop and a bucket with a weirdly coloured water.  
“I’ll spare you from the bathroom, for now.” Sarah winked at him and went back to the kitchen. Leaving a confused Ethan thinking if she was flirting with him or not.

Tyler huffed out a thick black smoke, looming over him. He threw the garbage bag near him at the wall. He threw cigarette at the stray cat, it squealed and jumped,  
running soon after.  
Staring at the brick wall Tyler sat back against the wheelie bin.  
“What did the creator of the knock-knock joke win?” He muttered to himself, a stupid joke was perfect for his stupid life. Tyler smiled at the joke.  
“The no-bell prize.” The smile quickly turned to sudden tears. Guilt inside him started to build up.  
“It was just like it was yesterday,” Tyler stood up.  
“Because of me!” He yelled out, kicking the brick wall. He didn’t care for the pain, he didn’t care anymore.  
“It was all because of me...”  
Tyler stared at the spot he was sitting in the alley way for the past hour. He felt tears in his cheeks, but the guilt wasn’t in him anymore, numbness took over.  
He sat down at the dirty floor, he curled himself into a ball. Desperately trying to feel anything.  
_The memories, it’s coming back ___  
“Someone save me!!” Tyler yelled out, tears dripping down his cheeks.  
_I’m going insane ___  
Tyler’s breathing was rapid and shallow, it’s like he’s drowning...  
_I’m going mad! ___  
He stood up as his knees shook, surprised from the sudden action. Tyler wiped the tears from his eyes, his chest slowly expanding. He slowed down his breathing.  
Then, from that moment. Tyler smiled, trying to push his emotions, into his deep dark corners of his mind. His fucked up mind, his fucked up past.  
_Ethan walked past Tyler, Tyler turned around as he was greeted with a smile from the small boy._  
_“Tyler.” Ethan said in a sing-songy tone. ___  
_“Let’s go, let’s go to the park!” ___  
_“Ethan, you look so happy.” Tyler said, his eyes watering. _  
“I-I promise to, be strong. For you.” He said outloud__

____

_____ _

____

__

________________Ethan wiped his forehead, huffing as he tried to scrape the gum of the table.  
He sighed with relief as the last one fell into the bucket. Getting out from under the table he sat down in the ground, looking at his stained yellow gloves.  
“So did you have fun with the gum from under the table.” Said Sarah, tapping Ethan from behind.  
“I’m never putting gum under the table ever again.” Ethan sighed, standing up he removed the stained yellow glove.  
Ethan sighed and sat at the top of the table. Looking at Sarah she held something that was wrapped in tin foil.  
“What’s that you’re holding?” Ethan pointed to the wrapped tinfoil. Sarah unwrapped the tinfoil in front of Ethan, revealing a Burrito.  
“Why do you have a Burrito? In your hand?” Ethan asked, a little weirded out.  
“Well,” she said. Sitting next to Ethan she took a bite.  
“My friend named Jess, was supposed to be here. We would sit in this exact table, and do our ritual of buying Burritos and eat here. Talk about school and complain about how our teachers aren’t fair back then.”  
Sarah sniffled, tears stained the Burrito.  
“But now, she had Retrograde amnesia from a car accident when we’re out to go do our Burrito in Friday. And she-“  
Sarah let the food slip away from the ground, falling, onto the ground. She wiped the tears away.  
“It’s just a stupid thing, a stupid food that reminds me so much of her.”  
Ethan looked at her, all vulnerable in front of him. He let her lean on him.  
“You know, my mother had Retrograde amnesia and Dementia.” Ethan said, his memories flooding back in.  
He stared up at the ceiling, a black spot was above them.  
“Well, she’s still alive? Isn’t she?” Sarah asked, her voice breaking.  
“Yeah.” Ethan lied, looking at a shiny fake diamond ring on the ground. It looked so much like his Mother wore.  
“It’s just stupid things that remind us about our past.”  
Ethan let a tear drop down into the ground, Sarah looked at him and smiled. She hoped off the table and rubbed her eyes.  
“Sorry for being so emotional. Ethan, we’ve wasted too much time.” She reached into her pocket and revealed a $20 bill note.  
“Here, you’ll be making 10 bucks a hour.” She smiled, handing the money to Ethan.  
“Tha-Thank you.”  
Sarah hopped off the table, walking back to the kitchen.  
“Oh and Ethan you’re free to go. Your next real shift will be in Monday, I’ll send you the schedule through text tomorrow” She said, her cheery tone was back.  
Ethan hoped off the table, when his memories came back again.  
_”you’ve pressed the wrong key, Ethan.” His Mother circled around the piano._  
_“I-I’m s-sorry Ma-“_  
_“How many times did we go over this!” She yelled, rage filled her blood streams. ___  
_She gasped, collapsing onto the floor, Ethan hoped off the piano stool. ___  
_“Ma!” ___  
“Dear god.” Ethan mumbled, as he touched the glass door.  
“Please, please make me forget.” 


	11. Don’t worry this is just an update

Hayyyyy, So this is just an update on the fanfic. And something u might be asking yourself and stuff.  
1\. The relationship between Tyler and Ethan, although theyre not together yet, they will be kind of in a relationship later on.so there isn’t a relation ship In this fanfic. But they will kind of be, I’ll try to slot that in fanfic, probably hear the end.  
2\. Upload schedule, I actually don’t have one and I’m lazy and sad so sorry to y’all lol  
3\. This is just for me and this is my first time really making a long fanfic, things are starting really slow. But at the end things will ramp up.  
Anyway ty to u guys and I should have the next chapter done tomorrow or soon ty


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy I did a fanfic lmao anyway have fun kiddos <3

After closing the door Ethan felt the usual cold wooden floor as he took of his shoes. Looking at the clock and realising it’s only 6 pm he sighed, taking off his jacket.  
“Dad, Mum I’m-“ Ethan immediately stopped himself, looking down on the floor.  
The feeling of emptiness and dread slowly crept up on him.  
“Home...” Ethan continued, He slowly walked to the kitchen, like something was dragging him down. Turning on the at the kitchen lights he turned on the stove, staring at the cold metal pan, like Ethan was waiting for it to make food.  
_The candle light flickered in front of him, his Father looked at him, his Mother looked at him. ___  
He kept staring, slowly getting lost in his thoughts. In his own mind? _”Why didn’t you save us Ethan?” Said his Mother. ___  
_”Save us Ethan.” Said his Father. ___  
_Ethan looked at both of them, he tried to move. To hug them, but something made him stuck to the ground. ___  
_”Dad, Mum. I’m here it’s OK, can you hear me?” Ethan said, trying to get their attention. ___  
_Slowly darkness began to suck into itself. Ethan, yelling and sobbing tried to get their attention. But all they did was stare back... ____Darkness seemed to bend around the edges of the hole. The hole began to grow in size, consuming his parents. Ethan’s heartbeat started to dangerously get faster. Sweat quickly covered his skin, he seemed to be more aware of his breathing as it got faster. ___  
Ethan lashed out, throwing the pan across the room, breaking the painting on the wall, a loud crashing sound followed.  
He held onto the edge of the counter tightly, white appeared on his knuckles, huffing as he tried to calm himself down.  
“What is wrong with me?” Ethan asked himself, tears falling down onto the ground.  
Ethan sobbed as he collapsed onto the floor.  
_Please, someone make me forget ___  
After five minutes on the floor, Ethan slowly picked himself up. Picking up the pan and cleaning the spills. He walked to his bedroom, closing the door behind him he sat at the bed.  
Staring at the clear sky at his window, Ethan gripped the bed sheets.  
_Do I really want to forget? ___

_________________(Don’t mind me just skipping time and shit)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________The next day Ethan woke up to buzzing sound from his phone, confused on how he fell asleep Ethan lazily reached for the phone.  
“Hello? Who’s this?” He said, his voice a little slurred.  
“Hey, Ethan where are you? I’m at Clay’s Cafe, where the hell are you?”  
Ethan quickly left the bed, standing up he looked around his closet.  
“Uhh... I’m at the bus right now, traffic is insane.” Ethan lied, frantically flicking through clothes. He threw a set of random clothes onto his bed.  
“Well I’ll be waiting for you, bye Ethan.” Tyler ended the call, Ethan sighed with relief. Quickly dressing up Ethan put on his shorts on his way to the bathroom, a little disappointed as what outfit he picked out for the day.  
\- A cheap grey t-shirt  
\- Black pants  
\- Stained blue jacket  
\- Dirty white shoes  
He didn’t have enough time as he hurriedly brushed his teeth and washed his face, almost falling over as he ran to the kitchen, grabbing a muesli bar and reheating a day old coffee. Ethan left the house as he almost forgot his keys. 

________________________________Tyler stared at the black liquid, reflecting his face, but not his true self, the true monster that he thinks he is.  
He took out his phone to distract himself, navigating to the news.  
_Another terrorist attack, in LA. Police are investigating on the four members who planted C4 bombs near the shopping centre where a free concert was going be held ___  
Tyler gripped his phone tightly, rage going through his bloodstreams.  
“Are they the one?” Tyler muttered under his breath.  
“Were they the one, on that day?”  
_A deafening blast ripped the air, Tyler screamed. As he looked around debris around him, a giant broken gasoline sign dug deep into the Earth. ___  
_”Tyler, Run please, I want you to live your life, to be happy. Go on Ethan without me.” A red blossom quickly grew under his Father’s white shirt, Ethan cried as he tried to take out the shrapnel from his Father’s chest._  
_”Ethan, it’s OK, just go.” He smiled at Tyler. Tyler wiped his tears away he stood up, still holding his Father’s hand. ___  
_”But I Don’t wanna go...” Tyler muttered. Closing his eyes he ran, ran away from all the destruction, from all the chaos. ___  
Tyler snapped out of his thoughts when Ethan sat down, putting his bag on the table.  
“Took you long enough.” Tyler said, quickly stopping him train of thoughts.  
“Sorry I’m late, what did you want to talk about.” Ethan asked, grabbing a piece off Tyler’s pancake.  
“I-I-“ Tyler paused, wondering if he should really tell Ethan.  
“I-I just wanted to, just two of us. To go out,” Tyler smiled. Ethan knew it was fake, under those smiles and funny jokes lies a broken life.  
“Really? Tyler, going out sucks, you have to dress up and pay for whatever we’re doing. And looked how I’m dressed.” Ethan sighed, sinking into the seat.  
“I mean we could just go back to you house and order pizza.” Tyler suggested.  
“You made me come all the way out here, just to go back home? You’re such an inconvenient person,” Ethan stood up grabbing his bag. A hand stopped him from standing up. Tyler paused, thinking what he’s going to say.  
“Yes?”  
“Never mind, Ethan.” 

__________________________________________________After a long bus ride home, Ethan a little tired almost missed the doorknob. Swinging the door open he sighed.  
“Welcome to my hellhole,” Ethan said. Hiding his cuts from last night he didn’t know he had. Ethan feared Tyler saw it, sitting down into the living room Ethan sat down.  
“Oh what happened to the music project?” Ethan asked, distracting him.  
“Yeah, I ummmmmmm... it did not went too good. But apparently I passed, he didn’t mention anything about you really.”  
“Oh where are your parents?” Tyler asked, quickly changing the subject.  
“Their going out, in a business trip or something.” Ethan lied, avoiding eye contact with Tyler. He stared into the hallway as he thought he saw someone.  
“So what do you want to do today?”  
Ethan didn’t answered, he was distracted by something else. Tyler waved his hand in front of him, Ethan suddenly jolted up.  
“Sorry, I’m just tired.” He said, rubbing his eyes he stood up, walking to the kitchen.  
“I don’t really have, anything to be honest. Go order pizza while I find something to snack on.” Ethan clawed through his cupboards. Tyler watched him drop packets of biscuits onto the ground, there’s just something about him.  
“Tyler what are you doing?” Ethan said, trying not to yell. Tyler pinned him to the wall, the taller man was inches away from him. Before he could speak Tyler pressed his lips against Ethan’s. Ethan, who was caught off guard just stood there.  
He pushed Tyler off him, his cheeks flustered red.  
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Tyler looked at him.  
“Ethan,” He said.” Let’s run away from this place, I don’t care where we go. Where we end up, let’s forget about our fucked up lives. Our fucked up past. Let’s just go and be free. We’re the same, we had our lives ruined by events, we had too many nights where we cried ourselves to sleep. We’ve watched too many people leave and change, too many people betrayed us.”  
Ethan looked at him, tears falling down his cheeks.  
_Do I? Do I really want to forget? _The thought was still in his mind.__  
“Tyler, I-I Don’t want to forget...” Ethan couldn’t believe he said those words, almost as if he didn’t want to say it. Tyler wiped his tears and smiled.  
“I-I’m Sorry, Ethan. I don’t know what’s going on with me.” He walked to the living room as he avoided eye contact, grabbing his phone from the coffee table.  
“Tyler wait-“  
Just as like that, he left like the wind. Like the ones that Ethan trusted, the people he thought he could trust. For someone to say ‘it’s all going to be all right’, just disappear, only this time it’s him who disappeared... 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there would u look at that I actually posted in time XD lol, anyway I’m tired kinda so imma go and listen to music bye. Leave any feedback as always in the comments ty <3
> 
> P.S  
> SPOILER ALERT shit is about to go down in the following chapters so have fun kiddos

_Do I really want to forget?_  
The thought was still in his mind, those few words Ethan said to him. Tyler collapsed into the floor he have been calling home for a week, leaning against the brick wall. He thought he would say yes, leave this town, leave their past behind, it’s only just going to be him and Ethan. But his last hope vanished, leaving him feeling done with everything. There in the dirty floor he fell apart, curling himself up to ball in a corner, his cheeks stained with tears, making his eyes water, only looking at his hands. He can remember how Ethan looked so broken, but he fixed him, made him feel alive. Funnily enough, he can’t fix himself.  
Tyler’s phone buzz didn’t do a anything as he slowly lost himself, in his mind, in his thoughts, his past. 

__The next morning Ethan woke up, rubbing his eyes he instantly took his phone from his bedside table. Everyday day in the last few days he called Tyler, but no answer came as each time.  
Ethan stared at the cold floor as he received no answer, not surprised he put down his phone. His heart started pumping more blood, his breaths grew shallow and rapid, the only thought was Tyler. Where was he?  
After 30 minutes of calming himself down after a panic attack when he calls, he rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
“Where are you, Tyler.” Ethan said, expecting him to enter his room.  
_Where are you?_  
The thought was in his mind as he stepped of the bus, disappointed he has to go through a whole day with the bullshit of this school. Ethan looked at Tyler’s locker beside him, expecting him to be there, all he got was a slight push from someone and a snicker from nearby.  
“Where are you? Tyler,” Ethan said. Closing the locker door he sighed, walking to his home room. As his mind wandered off. Hoping that time would pass faster.  
Everyone left as the first period bell rang, Ethan didn’t really pay attention to his first period, or the second one. In fact his mind was all about Tyler, as he just disappeared just like that.  
After a seemingly long time that Mr. Clay checking on Ethan as he looked like he was zoning even more as he almost tripped himself. Ethan quicken his pace, opening his locker, looking outside clouds loomed in the sky, slowly turning grey.  
“Tyler, please tell me, where are you.” He said, those words slowly left his lips. Ethan kneeled onto the cement.  
“Please, I need you.” 

______Tyler huffed our a thick black smoke, swirling into the air and disappearing in thin air. Picking himself up he threw the cigarette, not caring about his current state Tyler walked to Clay’s cafe, peeking inside the musty smell of grease and usual blinking lights. A girl greeted him as he entered, at the corner of his eyes he can see her looking at him with concern. The blonde girl had her hair as a ponytail, hazel eyes and wore too much lipstick. Tyler sat down, his face flat on the table  
“Here, have something, you look terrible.” She said, her tone was comforting. Putting down a cup of coffee and a piece of toast in front of him. He ignored her as she left, leaving him in his thoughts, oh how his mind killed him. Tyler lifted his face, looking at the murky liquid as it swirled in the cup. Taking a bite of the toast his mind went blank, a feeling of emptiness crept behind him.  
_”I really can’t be saved” Ethan slowly said_  
He remembered it clearly, as Ethan stood at the edge, the rain heavily pouring down on them, how he almost lost someone, almost lost the grip on Ethan. Now he’s the one that can’t be saved.  
“I really can’t be saved,” Tyler muttered. Staring at himself at the murky liquid.  
_No one wants broken things_

______________Sarah looked at the homeless man, a grey hoodie was covering his eyes and black pants was all he wore besides from a ruined pair of shoes. All he did was stare at the coffee she gave him to. It seemed like he had a rough night, Sarah looked away when she got a phone call. The usual calming pattern of the rain was playing as she picked up her phone from the counter.  
“Hey, it’s me Ethan.” He said from the other end of the line, his tone had a sense of worry. Sarah ignored it.  
“Hi, Ethan, what’cha want? You know you have a shift right?”  
“I know, hey ummm.” Ethan paused, his voice breaking a little.  
“By any chance, have you seen a guy in the Cafe? He has brown curly hair, tall, muscular?”  
“Is He your boyfriend?” Sarah teased, trying to calm the Ethan with the tone in his voice. Ethan didn’t answer.  
Sarah looked around the deserted Cafe, no one was there besides her and the homeless man.  
“All I see is a homeless man who is staring at the coffee I got him.”  
“Thank you anyway, Sarah.” He said.  
“Ethan are you OK?” She asked, concerned on how he’s speaking in the phone.  
“Yeah I’m Uhh, I’m fine, I’m just a bit sick, and from the lack sleep. Ethan quickly hanged up as the homeless man stood up, slowly walking towards the door.  
“Do you have somewhere you can sleep? Anyone you can call?” Sarah asked, the homeless man paused.  
“I never had a home to call.” Was all he said as he left, the rain heavily started to pour outside as he left. 

______________Ethan left the bus, the rain hit his face, pulling out the umbrella which shielded him from the rain, walking along the footpath, with the only sound of the rain going pitter patter. He noticed when a homeless man passed him, rugged he thought it was Tyler when he passed him. Turning around to look at him, Ethan sighed, he isn’t getting enough sleep.  
“Hey,” said Ethan. Opening the door he placed the bag in the nearby table. The umbrella dripping wet.  
“Are you OK?” Sarah asked, her tone was soft.  
A part of Ethan wanted to say no, he’s never been OK, no one has. He simply smiled, running a hand through his wet hair.  
“Yea, I’m fine.” He lied, one of the many lies he said, even to himself.  
“Now, let get revive this deserted place.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, I’m sorry if the quality of the writing is lower. I was being passive aggressive while editing and writing this, anyway have fun kiddos

His head pounding, Tyler leaned onto a nearby wall. Coughing as he ran out of breath, the cold weather and rain didn’t help either as he struggled to run back to where he sleeps. He heard a snicker behind him, gritting his teeth as people chased him. Running out of breath he thought he lost them, his chest quickly expanding.  
A sudden blow in his chest made him fall to ground, groaning he pushed himself up when a sudden force made him hit the hard cement.  
“So that kick in the chest didn’t leave a scratch?” A voice said behind him, snickering. Tyler saw shadows gather around him as footsteps got closer and closer.  
“What do you want!” He yelled, pain swelled in his chest as he coughed out blood.  
“What is a little worm doing out in the streets?” Someone taunted, kicking Tyler again. Tyler cried out in pain as his head throbbed in pain.  
“You know people like you, weak, pathetic. Little worms like you that haven’t done anything to humanity. We’re... convincing people... to eradicate the little worms like you.”  
More people crowded him, he winced as someone stepped in his head. Spitting out blood as people kicked him, Tyler tried stand up but he got knocked over. Hitting the wall his vision blurred, he slowly lost the ability to fight, losing the need to care and the feeling of hope he took another hit. Hopelessness numbed the pain.  
“All right people cut it out, let’s spare this one worm.”  
People stepped away from Tyler, laughing as someone weakly pushed him to the wall. He opened tried to make sense what laid in front of him as someone cupped his chin.  
“I’m feeling... nice today, I’ll let you live, little worm.” He said, breathing in front of Tyler. He managed to open an eye, spotting a crescent white mark in all their clothes. Tyler clenched his fist as he remembered that fateful night.  


_Tyler ran, ran away, tears flying off into the air as he vaulted over broken walls, broken dreams.... he heard laughter in the distance. Terrified he hid behind a wall, looking over he saw two people walking towards where he hid. Hoods covering their heads and a white crescent mark in their clothes. Covering his mouth with his hands he slowed down his breathing._

__  
“It’s them...” He muttered under his breath.  
“All right, lets go. Leave this worm to rot in the streets.” He laughed, people followed him as the sounds of the footsteps slowly faded away as the soft pitter-patter took over.  
Picking himself up a sharp pain acted in his chest, he cried out as he stood up, using the wall for support.  
_I’m done with everything_  
There laid in front of him was a gun someone has dropped from the gang in the wet floor, the cold metal shining from a nearby lamppost. Collapsing into the cement.  
_I’m done pretending_  
He reached out, the metal felt cold against his skin. Pulling out the magazine he counted the bullets. A tear left his eye as he loaded it, closing his eyes.  
_I’m done, acting like I’m OK, I’m done with the pain, done with my past_  
Tyler felt the cold metal against his skull, shaking he put is up his head, tears dropped from his cheeks as he was so close. His hands shook.  
Oh how he wanted to end it all, how he end it with a single trigger, a single pull.  
And there he sat, trembling in the cold, tempted. A cold breeze went by.  
“Call him,” someone whispered behind him. The tone was soft, comforting.  
Tyler dropped the gun, looking behind was only a wall. Pain ached in every part of his body, reaching into his pockets his vision suddenly began to blur. Barely being able to call him.  
“Tyler, Tyler. Where have you been? You haven’t answered my calls, my text-“  
“Ethan.... I think.... I think I’m dying.” Tyler interrupted.  
Tyler could hear his breathing get sharper.  
“It’s OK Tyler you’re going to be fine, where are you?” Ethan said, his voice breaking, he can be him running.  
Tyler groaned in pain, biting his lower lip as his vision got darker and darker. He felt the world going around him  
“The place where you almost-“  
He fell over, the sky looking like a foggy image.

______________Ethan almost dropped his phone when he received the call, holding a hand over his mouth to stop himself crying in the bus. Ethan could hear Tyler coughing in the other end of the line, biting his lower lip he spoke.  
“Tyler, Tyler, where have you been? You haven’t answered my calls, my text-“  
“Ethan.... I think.... I think I’m dying.” Ethan almost chocked in his breath, quickly pressing the ‘next stop’ button he scrambled out of his seat. Now in 12 am, in pitch black, heavily raining outside. Scared for life for Tyler. Running after him. He’s Ethan Nestor, he doesn’t want to lose someone who saved him.  
“It’s OK Tyler you’re going to be fine, where are you?” He managed to say, his voice breaking he ran out of the bus. Not caring as he almost tripped someone over.  
Putting his hood on he ran in the dark streets, only a few lamppost illuminated the way.  
“The place where you almost-“ Ethan’s heart clenched, the last words he heard before the call ended almost made him stop.  
_Please, be alive, Tyler. ___  
Running in the cold, dark streets, Ethan’s tears was lost in the dark, quickly running through alleyways and climbing over fences. He put a hand over a brick wall, catching his breath he looked over to see the building. Looking up he saw someone on the roof, shaking his head he sighed. The memory is still burned into his mind. Running into the entrance he caught a glimpse of someone in the alleyway besides it. His heart skipped a beat as he saw who it was, lying still in amongst the musty smell.  
“Tyler,” Ethan said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol Cliff hanger


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people, this chapter is going to be Fluff that you all deserved, it’s amaing and beautiful and a bit of angst sprinkled in. I would appreciate for any feeedback please I urge you people. Anyway tootles

He looked around the empty, white room he was in. Tyler walked along in a line, looking around if anyone, anyone or something was here with him. A quiet whisper caught his attention, he looked back. Seeing his Father with the oily smell from the workshop. Tyler dropped to his knees, looking up to see the blue jacket that his Father wore on that day.  
“I’m sorry,” Tyler said. Covering his face, tears dropped to the white, empty floor.  
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t save you, I’m sorry that I’m weak-“  
A hand lifted his face, Tyler wiped his tears away.  
“Tyler, I wanted you to live, live a normal life. Go have fun, be a teenager.”  
He looked down onto the ground again, there he is, blaming himself again.  
“No, I don’t deserve to live.”  
A hand stroked Tyler’s messy hair, the soft, warm hand. Several muted sounds came through the walls Tyler couldn’t understand.  
_Tyler, wake up, please. ___  
“Don’t worry, you’re not weak Tyler. You don’t know it yet, it’s not your time yet. Now go, wake up, someone is waiting for you.”  
Tyler looked up once more, seeing the image of his Father smile at him, before shattering into a million diamonds.

__Tyler slowly opened his eyes, gaining conscience he slowly sat up before he felt Ethan’s lips against his. It was soft, simple, it doesn’t mean much, yet it does. Ethan held onto Tyler, hearing a few sobs from him. The rain slowly died down, only a few droplets hit his Tyler’s face.  
“Tyler, don’t ever do that to me. You’re the only one I have.” Ethan said, his voice breaking. He can see Ethan slightly red. Tyler rested his head onto the crook of Ethan shoulder, making his hands onto Ethan’s.  
“Shh, Ethan it’s OK.” He managed to say, biting back a groan as his chest swelled with pain. Tyler twirled Ethan’s hair around his finger, choking back a groan as pain throbbed in his head. They stayed like that, amongst the weird smell of garbage in the dark alleyway, Tyler hugging Ethan from behind as Ethan tried to calm himself down. Tyler stood up, suddenly collapsing back down into the ground.  
“Shit are you all right?” Ethan said, wiping tears away from his eyes. Ethan smiled at him, it’s one of the smiles that wasn’t fake, like it was real. He helped Tyler to his feet, using him as support Tyler gritted his teeth. 

__Once Tyler let out a few exhausted sighs, they slowly walked, stopping a few times as Tyler catches his breath. Their surroundings was quiet, as the rain finally died down, the usual chirping of the crickets and the few lights coming out of windows.  
As they finally reached Ethan’s house Tyler leaned against a wall, smiling as Ethan made eye contact with him before quickly turning away. Fumbling with the keys Ethan opened the door, Tyler behind him looked around. Ethan walked ahead of him to turn on all the lights. The living room looked different, with some cushions scattered across the floor, a few cans of coke and a bag of chips opened.  
“Sorry if the place is a mess, my dad’s alcoholic and came home one night, he said he wouldn’t drink so I kind of a believed hi,, I guessed he kept his promised.” Ethan lied, turning around to give a smile, those are the ones of his smiles that he faked. Tyler followed him as they started to move.  
“Is anyone home?”  
“No, my mum’s a workaholic and my Dad said he’ll be back in the morning.” Ethan lied again, there was something about his voice, something that revealed something that he hid.  
Ethan swung the door open, revealing his room with a bed in the corner and a desk in the other corner, his room was bare as usual, with the window that he’s imagine Ethan sitting in and a few clothes in the floor and in the bed.  
Tyler sat down in the bed, feeling a sharp pain in his chest as he heard Ethan leave.  
He looked around his room carefully, standing up to look at a photo, Ethan and someone unfamiliar, smiling.  
His legs suddenly gave out as he collapsed onto the floor, hearing a few footsteps from behind the door revealed Ethan.  
“Tyler” Ethan said, putting down a few bottles of pills and some bandages to help Tyler. Helping him to his feet he sat at the edge of the bed.  
Ethan handed him some pills and water, Tyler thankfully receives, before putting down the empty glass of water. He took of his shirt, revealing bruises and a cut across his chest. Ethan quickly patched it up, sighing as he finished. Tyler looked at him as he stand up, smiling weakly.  
“You shouldn’t really need to go to hospital, you didn’t see, break any bones or anything from what I can see.” Tyler sighed, standing up he quickly let a out a cry.  
“So you’re a doctor now?” Tyler teased.  
“My auntie was a nurse, she always talked to me about these sort of things.”  
“You just need to rest, please.”  
Ethan stood up as he left, leaving Tyler in the bed he looked out the window, shadows of branches swayed across the room.  
_So you keep secrets too? Ethan. ___  
Ethan came back with a two bottles of water, before sitting next to Tyler and passing the bottle. They sat in silence as Ethan finally spoke.  
“Please, don’t ever do that again, Tyler.” He said, letting tears come out of his eyes. Tyler leaned in, placing a pressing his lips against Ethan’s.  
“I love you Tyler, please don’t do that,” Ethan said, before holding onto Tyler. Squeezing his shoulder before Tyler cupped his chin.  
“Hey, Ethan, I’m not going anywhere.” He said, placing a kiss on Ethan’s forehead.  
“Promise that, Tyler.”  
“I promise.” He said, holding Ethan’s hand. 

Before long Ethan was knocked out cold, chest slowly rising and falling. He looked so peaceful, at least that’s what Tyler thought. He was still sitting at the edge of the bed, placing a hand in Ethan’s hair, ruffling it.  
_I don’t know if I can keep that promise, but I love you, Ethan._  
He sighed, before climbing inside the bed, spooning Ethan, resting his face on the crook of his neck. 

__

__


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IM SO SORRY I HAVENT LIKE UPDATED THIS IM SOOO SORRY :( FORIGVE ME  
> Anyway I’m sorry I was absent I had school stuff and hey I’m free now and got the dreaded projects I had to pass on while I knew I was going get a low grade.  
> This chapter isn’t what I liked to be and th editing was rushed but hey it’s better than nothing :)  
> Please leave any feedback so I know what to improve since I’m still a novice writer.

Humming as he sat up, Tyler looked at the smaller boy. It’s been two weeks since Tyler kind of moved in with Ethan, sometimes staying, sometimes leaving. He tried to ask him where his parents are and where they are at, but Ethan simply avoided the subject.  
He knew he was hiding something much more darker behind those cute face of his.  
Tyler stroked Ethan’s messy brown hair, the light coming in from the window blinded him as he got out of the bed. The memories still haunted him as he rubbed his eyes.  
Tyler shook Ethan, slowly waking him up, his eyes fluttering as he looked up to see Tyler.  
Still Tyler smiled at Ethan, not letting his tears fall down his cheek, Ethan smiled back as he fixed his messy hair.  
Tyler quickly left the room, going to the kitchen he opened the nearly empty fridge he grabbed a half full juice carton. When he accidentally slipped it out of his hands, spilling onto the wooden floor.  
_I could have saved him ___  
His hands shaking he quickly went to the bathroom, tears streaming down his face.  
Splashing water to his face to calm himself down, Tyler looked at himself at the mirror.  
_I’m sorry, to everyone. ___  
He stared at himself, looking at himself into the mirror, looking at every fault he has. He’s too weak.

______Ethan slowly walked to the kitchen, when he saw the spilled the juice he instantly called out Tyler’s name.  
“Tyler!” Ethan instantly yelled, anxiety taking over him.  
He quickly hid himself, leaning on the wall as he saw Tyler. Hearing sobs from Tyler. He slowly walked to Tyler, hugging him from behind.  
“Don’t scare me like that, Ethan.” He said, staining Tyler’s t-shirt with his tears.  
Ethan rested his head onto the crook of Tyler’s neck, hugging Tyler.  
“Don’t ever leave me. Promise me Tyler, I need you.” Ethan said, Tyler turned around to face Ethan, he took a few steps back. Tyler wiped his tears away.  
“I promise.” He said, though he doesn’t know if he would keep the promise, it’s just one of those possibly fake lies.  
Tyler cupped Ethan’s chin, smiling at him.  
“I’m sorry Ethan.”  
Ethan tightly hugged him, burying his face onto the older man’s shirt. 

____ _ _

____(Some weird time skipping stuff)  
The usual cracking sound of the grease was the only sound that filled the usual gloomy cafe, Ethan wiped the sweat from his forehead. It’s been two full weeks, he hoped things would look up.  
Somehow, he kind of felt normal as he things should his way like this.  
He let his mind wander off, fixing his hair.  
_Isn’t it your fault? Ethan? ___  
“Ethan.”  
_Wasn’t it your fault? You still deny your past, your Mother who is a pianist, your_ Father who left you. Isn’t it your fault? __  
“Ethan.”  
_Everything is your fault, you can’t even hear the piano without going into a panic attack. ___  
“Ethan can you hear me?” Said Sarah said, waving a hand in front of him.  
Ethan snapped out of his mental state, almost burning his hand. He turned around to be greeted by Sarah. Rubbing his eyes and turning around to greet her he smiled.  
“Are you OK Ethan? You seemed to be zoning out a lot, you can take a 30 minute breather if you want?” Sarah asked, turning her back to Ethan to wipe the kitchen bench clean.  
Ethan stuttered, before finally making an answer.  
“Yeah, I’m fine Sarah, I’m just tired that’s all.” He said, greeted by a smile once Sarah was done.  
_I think I am, anyway_  
Ethan wiped his hands onto his apron, walking out to the tables to greet the costumer.  
A hooded man with a black pants sat down on one of the tables, Ethan followed him, smiling as he reached the table.  
“Hello, sir. What would you like to order? Or would you like me to come back after five minutes?” Ethan asked, looking at a white crescent mark tattoo under the man’s sleeves, like a gang mark.  
The man didn’t answer, Ethan waited for a few more moments, until repeating what he said.  
“Sir, can you hear me?” Ethan said once again, receiving no reply.  
Suddenly the man jumped to the table, leaping to Ethan. They both hit the ground with a hard thud, Ethan was a pinned to the ground, seeing a shining metal object at the other man’s pocket.  
“Are you with the little Worm?” The man said in a raspy voice, like he hasn’t eaten for days, Ethan didn’t understand.  
Not being able to cry for help or get up by the weight of the man Ethan hit the attacker’s nose, hearing a groan from the man. Suddenly he pulled out the knife out of his pocket, putting it near his neck to threaten him. He gripped Ethan’s hands.  
“Answer me!” He yelled.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about-“  
“LET HIM GO OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE!” Sarah yelled, holding a knife on one hand and a phone on the other hand. The attacker quickly fled, the sound of the ringing bell followed after as Ethan stood up, sitting at the nearest seat.  
Touching the bruise the man gave him, Ethan looked to the side to see Sarah making a call.  
“I’m sorry Ethan, the actual person who runs this place didn’t place any cctv to catch the footage. Does anything hurt on your body?” Sarah said after the call.  
Ethan shook his head, he just wanted to go home.  
“I need to go home.” Ethan said, before taking apron off and going to the kitchen to grab his bag. Not hearing a single word besides the grease popping Ethan left. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Christmas is around the corner and snow and cold and hot cocoa so I hope you guys are having a nice holiday. Although I’m a little late to write holiday themed fanfics I’ll produce some Drabbles and writing to different fandoms and ship like Clony! Don’t worry I will try to my best to keep updating this fanfic once every week.   
> Please leave any feedback in the comment so I know that I’m doing this right. Right tootles go have fun in the chapter.

Tyler paced around the kitchen, opening cupboards out of boredom when his phone rang from his pocket. Realising it’s Ethan he sighed.  
“Ethan, hello.” Tyler greeted, he heard mumbling in the background and a deafening blast.  
“Tyler- he-lp, th- tin- ma-ll.” Ethan said, his voice sounded like a he was going die. Tyler grew impatient and scared as he had to calm, his self down.  
“Ethan! Please tell me where you are, tell me where you’re safe.” He said, running over to his wallet and shoes. The gust of wind didn’t help as he went outside to grab his bike.   
“Ethan, tell me where you are.” Tyler said again, no answer as there was only mumbling on the background.  
Tyler still on the phone he almost fell over as he tried to get on the bike, his hands was shaking.   
A hitched, shaky breath was the only thing Tyler heard last from him, as the call ended. 

 

Ethan didn’t really care about the attacker, even though he should as it nearly took his life. The man looked crazy, he acted desperate, to reach what was his goal. Ethan just needed to take a breather, for the past two weeks everything was hectic as he to go to work and school, while taking care of himself.   
All he needed is to go and eat, just to calm himself down.   
Taking the bus to the mall he sat at the farthest seats, when the bus arrived at a bus stop a suspicious man entered the bus, his face was stern, his hair was messy and he only wore a hoodie and a pants, something bulky was in his pockets which no one dared to ask what it is. It wasn’t the man at the Cafe, no, he looked somewhat young.   
He eyed Ethan as he sat down, as he quickly break eye contact by looking out of the window.

The mall wasn’t big, it was only a few shops and a few restaurants. He sighed as the sky began to clear and the wind picked up as he took step outside, at the same stop the man was. He quickened his pace as there was something about the man, something unsettling the way he walked as he turned a corner. Still Ethan ignored it, quickening his pace as the cool air conditioning felt nice as he went inside. It was rather empty and dull, with a few posters about movies and the small chatter in coffee shops.   
Putting on his hoodie he heard a fast beeping noise, several people turned their heads to pay attention to what it was. Ethan sensed something was hidden, like a snake waiting for it’s prey. He turned to a corner when he bumped into someone  
“Sorry,” Ethan apologised, realising who it was as it was the man from the bus accompanied by the man from the Cafe, they both stopped their conversations as they eyed him when he walked past them.  
He looked around the bathroom as he went inside, no one was inside as he sighed.  
Locking himself in one of the cubicle, feeling a weird ‘aura’ in the area. Ethan heard several voices outside as he forced himself to calm down. He thought that he was overreacting, then a sudden blast ripped the air, he blocked his ears as his heart was pounding. Screams was heard as he forced himself to not pay attention. Ethan’s whole body is shaking in fear.   
“Someone, help me. Please.” He barely managed to say.

(Present time )

Tyler huffed as he sped around cars, almost getting hit by one he didn’t care as he only cared about Ethan. On how close he’s going to lose Ethan, that’s what he thinks anyway as he threw himself off the bike. Seeing a few police cars already around the entrance, Tyler walked to the front Entrance, before he was stopped.   
“Sir you cannot enter for your sake of safety, we are contacting the military right now.” Said a man, Tyler tried to push past him, but the man simply refused.   
“Let me go in.” Tyler said loudly, several people caught their attention.  
“Sir, you can’t go in-“  
“I said me go in!” He yelled.   
“I know someone you care about is inside there. But we cannot let anymore civilians get injured.”  
Tyler stopped his efforts, as he realised there was no reason to be doing this.   
But this might me the last time he might see Ethan, how his whole face turns red when he cups his chin, or how he smiles. That face, no, he can’t lose him.   
He yelled as he pushed aside the officers blocking his way, he didn’t care as they tried to pull him back. Managing to get let go of the tight grip Tyler threw open the glass doors open, he looked back to see the officers standing like they just saw a ghost.  
He sighed with relief as he managed to get inside, all he has to do is get Ethan out of here. Tyler knows he might even lose his life, or chances of getting Ethan out is slim. He’s willing to take that chance, he quickened his pace as he hid behind a column. But there’s a problem, he noticed ticking bombs and tripwires.   
Now his fear for Ethan gradually grew.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fam shit is about to go down, this chapter is going to touch on very dark stuff like kidnaping or people fighting for their lives. If this isn’t your thing then skip this chapter, please give any feedback please I’m dying for it.  
> Anyway have fun kiddos.

Ethan coughed as he stood up, ash made it hard to see as the ceiling above him looked like it was about to give out. The bathroom was dark, he can’t see for more than a meter. Dust fell from the ceiling as he cried out for help.  
“Hello?” Ethan said in the darkness, making his way through the debris.  
He was cautious as to where he put his feet, slowly walking he managed to reach the exit. Ethan looked back as the ash and dust cleared up, a giant hole in the floor lay amidst the mess. He called out for help again as he exited the bathroom.  
“Hello?” Ethan called out again, as he looked out the whole mall is a mess, the roof is barely held together. He couldn’t see through the entrance as a black sheet covered the windows. The only sound was the wind outside and the floor crumbling beneath him. Ethan saw no one saw far as he walked near the shops. A whistle caught Ethan’s attention, he quickly turned around when he saw Tyler with bruises and deep cuts on his skin. He ran to him as Tyler’s knees gave out, collapsing on the far he cried in pain.  
“Tyler!” Ethan yelled, kneeling on the ground as he hugged him tight. Several  
“Ethan there are people here, hiding. I need you to get you out of here, leave me if you have to.”  
“I’m not leaving you here!” He yelled. Both of them heard clapping, they turned their heads to reveal a hooded figure.  
“What a happy reunion.” Said the hooded figure, laughing as he walked forward.  
Several hooded figures also descended from shadows, all of them are wearing black jackets with a white crescent tattoos.  
Tyler gritted his teeth as he barely managed to stand up, looking around rage built up inside him. 

“How is your father, little worm?” Joked the hooded figure closes to them, taking off his hood it revealed a cuts on his burned face.  
“Tyler what’s happening, who are they.” Ethan said, standing up he tightly grabbed Tyler’s hand.  
“They’re called the ‘unknown’ they’re a group of people that kidnaps two people and watch them beg for their lives as they put them in death games. After that they kill them anyway and destroy the place used for their ‘games’ and it sickens me. All to spread their message to kill the ‘worms’ in society.” After he finished Tyler wiped the tears in his cheeks.  
“Fuck you Hared.”  
The hooded figures walked towards them, they both walked back as Ethan was behind Tyler.  
“I’m going to have fun.” He smiled at both of them. Tyler grabbed Ethan, running away from them as he frantically looked left to right. He took hold of Ethan’s hand again, vaulting over a counter he took him to the corner of the room. He sat him down, pulling out a knife from his pocket. Tyler knelt down, seeing tears from Ethan’s face he cupped his chin, wiping his tears away.  
“Ethan, look at me, its OK. You’re OK,” He said. Tyler looked behind him as he quickly looked back.  
“Look at me, when I tell you to run away from here, do it, if I tell you to leave me, you do it-“  
“I’m not leaving you!” Ethan yelled, tears forming in his eyes. He threw himself to Tyler, hugging him tightly as he buried his face in Tyler’s chest. The sweet smell of coffee still hung around Tyler, and Ethan loved it. He doesn’t want to let go, not in a million years. 

They instantly stood up as he hears sounds coming in close, he tightly gripped Ethan’s hand, vaulting over the counter again as he ran to the corner. Seeing a illuminating sign saying ‘exit’ above a grey door at the end of the hallway, Tyler saw another tripwire, it was glimmering from the flickering light above them. He took Ethan’s hand, careful not to touch or trigger what ever it triggers. As they reached the hallway Tyler ran tot he door, fiddling with the doorknob and grunting as he threw himself at the door.  
“Where do you think you’re going?” Sneered a hooded figure, which sent a chill down Ethan’s spine. The voice sounded rusty, almost like a robot. Ethan looked at Tyler, he held his hand.  
Several hooded figures soon appeared in front of them, and one man was in the front. Several meters away from them, fear grew over Ethan, Tyler can feel his hand shaking. He looked straight at Ethan, ruffling his hair.  
“I promise you, you’re going to be OK.” He said, looking over to the slimmer of tripwire which made Ethan hold onto him tighter.  
“Why do you keep making promises you can’t keep?” The man in front of them said.  
“Wanna say your final words?” He said, looking straight at Tyler.  
“I’ve always wanted  
Tyler looked at Ethan, Ethan looked at him straight in the eye, smiling.  
“I guess I really am an idiot, huh.” Tyler casually said, that smile was back, the smile that Ethan loved, the one that makes him happy. Before Tyler threw himself to the floor, taking the man in front of him to the floor. A click was heard before Ethan’s heart skipped a beat. The walls crumbled around him, the ceiling breaking above him. Before long the exit door soon opened, revealing the outside.  
_I guess I really am an idiot, huh _The words hung around his mind, before knowing the true meaning.  
Before long he was thrown outside by an unknown force, before blacking out.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED RO HAVE THIS OUT AT CHRISTMAS EVE BUT NO MY FAMILY WANTED TO GO TO THE CITY AND LIKE IM SO TRIED AND I KIND OF RUSHED THIS IM SO SORRY FORGIVE ME PLEASE :( also cliffhanger lmao


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey wonderful people, these will be one of the last few chapters (epilogue as well) and I just want to thank each and everyone of u for sticking with me, this journey has been hard from planning to writing. Anyways read my child.  
> Feedback, comments and kudos are appreciated!

Everything hurts, his head, his leg. Every single part of his body ebbed with pain, he couldn’t hear much besides the distant heavy footsteps. He didn’t dare to open his eyes, he had to recollect himself on what happened, he was saved by Tyler. The name rang in his head, where was he? Is he safe? How about the other people?  
Slowly opening his eyes he noticed he was outside.  
“Tyler!” Ethan yelled, before sitting up his head ebbed with pain. His breathing was short and shallow, his heart was beating faster.  
The footsteps got nearer, his fear for Tyler was over the roof, he should be near him after the blast. Rubbing his eyes, his arms was stiff and painted with dust. Ethan coughed, suddenly spitting out blood.  
He heard muted sounds near him, he didn’t dare look up. Ethan just wanted to know where the only person he ever trusted was.  
People were talking to him, he didn’t care though.  
“Where’s Tyler.” He muttered, he heard voices near him, the shuffling of boots and the nearby traffic.

“Sir are you injured?” Said a muted voice, he didn’t look up. Ethan saw a shining circle of light in front of him. It blinded him as he snapped out of his mental state, slowly the pain increased and the numbness disappeared.  
“I’m OK.” Ethan muttered, before swearing as he tried to stand up. Sitting back down again into the cement, he looked around. Seeing a debris just a few metres in front of him. Looking around searching for Tyler always.  
“Sir, do you remember what happened.” Someone asked, he looked up to see a man with brown eyes with casual clothes. Holding a med kit in his right hand.  
“Yeah,” Ethan sighed. Suddenly remembering Tyler his head swelled with pain.  
“Shit, where’s Tyler?” He asked to himself. Looking around sudden screams were heard inside.  
“The man you were with? We haven’t found him yet.” The man muttered, Ethan’s heart fell. He wants him right now, after all of this it couldn’t just be like this.  
_I guess I really am an Idiot, huh_  
The words hung around his head, no, it couldn’t be like this.  
“It’s OK, you can trust me. I’m a paramedic in his holidays.” He said, before winking at him and kneeling beside Ethan. There Ethan wanted to find Tyler, hold him tight. But his body is saying no, so instead he sat still. Almost lifeless, like a bird trapped in a cage. The kind man checked Ethan’s wounds, checking his breathing while Ethan gets lost in his own mind.  
_I promise you, you’re going to be OK_  
The words made him flinch, before looking down on the ground and letting a single lonely tear drop to the ground.  
“How could you leave me like that, Tyler.” Ethan muttered to himself, which made the man look at him.

After a few minutes of the constant booming sounds from inside the building and the smoke coming out of the hole just a few meters away from them Ethan was told he was lucky. With just a few scratches and a lot of minor injuries the man told Ethan he was rather lucky. Being so close to the explosion there was a slim chance Ethan was going to get out without a broken bone or even get alive at all. Still Ethan’s heart ached on whereabouts Tyler went, if he even is alive. He was told he should keep an eye out on his health, suggesting to rest for a few weeks. “Did they find him, Tyler.” Ethan asked, his hope going up. The man sighed and looked down on the ground as Ethan sat down at the makeshift chair 

“We... haven’t heard anything about that man. At the current chances right now it wouldn’t be far of if he is-” The man stopped himself from going further, Ethan’s hope slowly decayed. Whatever happened next wasn’t his actions, rather his brain told him to. Ethan’s legs didn’t care that it was hurting every time it moved, his legs simply moved on its own. Running away from the memory, away from everything. Running across the street while the man shouted to him to come back, or how he nearly got hit by a white car. Though Ethan didn’t care. All he wanted is Tyler, if he couldn’t have him he will find away. One way or another. The only person who Ethan trusted, the only person that made him smile, laugh, give him hope. Is gone from this very Earth. Unlocking the front door to his house Ethan fell, covering his hands tears streamed down his face.  
_Don’t worry Tyler, I’m coming for you_ Ethan wiped away his tears, suddenly aware of the pain in every single part of his body, how he can barely manage to breathe as he ran without no breaks. Standing up on his two legs he used the door knob for support, his legs shaking as he closed the door. Pain ebbed in every single part of his body as he barely made to the bathroom. Opening the cupboards he groaned as he gripped towel rails tightly. Opening the last cupboard he found the tiny orange bottle, filled to the brim with weird blue and red pills.  
_What’s the point of living, if your soulmate is not with you?_  
Rubbing his eyes as he looked in the mirror, black was clearly seen under his eye and a clean cut wound was in his arm. It stung, yet he didn’t mind it. He was going to spend his last moments in his house anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahah ahah cliff hanger I’m sowwy, will Ethan go back to his own ways? Idk but I know what’s going to happen


	20. Final chapter + Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my 2nd multi chapter fanfic has come to an end, it has been a wild ride and thank you guys so much for supporting me through this journey. I’ve been steadily improving while writing this and I’m looking forward to the other ideas I have to write. Anyways thanks you guys and read the final chapter + epilogue  
> (This chapter contains hallucination)  
> kudos and comments are appreciated!

Ethan was back to his old self, the true him. The one that hated himself, the one that felt like a waste of space, without Tyler. He can’t smile no more, he can’t hug someone, can’t have any more hope. He felt like he was consumed by the void, feeling nothingness, emptiness, no emotions, no sadness. Just the void.  
Though the only thing that kept him interested is the shining, silver gun his dad hid in the bedside table. It felt light, with only 1 single bullet standing in his way. As he cried with tears he didn’t know felt in his cheek, those final moments felt weird to him. Something fell out of the drawer. It was paper, crunched up.  
Out of curiosity he picked it up, it felt odd to his skin. Ethan discovered it was a note, a letter. With liquid that stained that paper that Ethan guessed was tears.

_Hey, Ethan, it’s me Tyler. It feels... odd writing this to you, I’m only giving this to you when I die. Or when everything turns out great, all lovely and nice. Like those things that happen in movies. Well, this is real life, I expect nothing to go good. I’m writing this because I have a feeling that I’ll die, by taking my own or not I don’t know. See I have this mission, for revenge, my Dad, my past, I’ll tell you in the future Ethan. Don’t worry. But what matters now is that I will protect you, no matter what, even if it takes my own life. So you should protect me too, we’re soulmates after all. So if I die by saving your life, I know I did something right, so live for me Ethan, look out for me, together we’ll go in adventures, have sad and happy moments, have arguments, fight like a couple. I don’t care, so please live for me, if I die please. I don’t want your precious life wasted, I want you to be happy, please. And if I die, don’t forget me, keep your memories, please, think of me every single day. On how we were both broken._

“So I don’t want you to die. I’m scared, for you, for me.” Ethan said, finishing the note. He took time to recollect what happened, examining the tears on the paper, the constant clicking of the wall clock, the constant pain in his chest.  
“But I didn’t protect you,” Ethan muttered to himself, tears swelling in his eyes.  
_Don’t worry. But what matters now is that I will protect you, no matter what, even if it takes my own life._  
He hung on those words written on the paper, dropping the gun on the floor it made a heavy thud.  
Time moved slowly that moment, was it because of the sudden outbreak of tears? The feeling of guilt? The ticking sound from the nearby clock? The emptiness in his chest? That sorrow feeling? He covered his face with his hands  
“Why are you crying for?” Tyler said, Ethan looked up. It looked just like him, the curly hair and the smile of his, the happy look on his face. Though he knew it wasn’t him, it was just mind playing with him, his mind that’s killing him.  
Tyler kneeled down on front of Ethan, taking his hands off his face.  
“I’m here, live for me Ethan.”  
“I’m sorry, Tyler, I’m sorry for everything, I couldn’t protect you, I can’t even touch you.” He said, he thought is was his fault.  
Tyler cupped Ethan’s cheek, making him face him.  
“I’ll be here, no matter what. I did it for you Ethan, now live for me, promise me.” Tyler said, rubbing the tears away with his thumb. It was all fake, a facade, a lie. Still Ethan believed it, holding onto Tyler, never letting go.  
“I promise.”

Epilogue  
~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

It’s been 6 years, 6 full years since the incident. 5 full years when the police discovered Tyler’s body to be dead under the remains of the part of the mall. 6 full years when it happened, 6 and a half years when Ethan met Tyler, a lot has changed, the way Ethan remembered Tyler’s smile, his laugh. How he took care of Ethan, how Tyler ruffled Ethan’s hair. Gradually the hallucinations of Tyler slowly disappear, the final moment was during graduation.  
A lot has changed, yet Ethan didn’t dare to forget. not once did he not go a day without remembering about Tyler.  
Stepping outside, the tiny pitter patter of the rain was the only sound. It was quiet and peaceful, with the howls of the wind and the distant sounds of cars.  
Ethan kept walking straight, until kneeling down on the grass in front of a tombstone.  
“Hey, it’s me. Ethan, I didn’t forget about you Tyler, no way will I ever forget about you.” Ethan mumbled, glancing over to the photo back in the day. Ethan smiling and Tyler wrapping his arms around Ethan.  
“I’m now a content creator, I’ve had a steady income by making videos and meeting fans, they all have their different stories. It’s nice to listen to.”  
“But Tyler, why did you go? You’ve said that we would go on adventures, have arguments, be a normal couple.” Ethan paused, suddenly realising tears down his cheek.  
“Why did you have to go? Why did you have to save me, you could still be with me, why...”  
He wiped his tears away, looking over to the distance the rain fell harder.  
“But that doesn’t matter now, I guess you have to pay the price. So thank you Tyler, for showing me the path, for telling me there’s another way, thank you for letting me live. Thank you for giving me hope, for making me laugh when didn’t want to, for making me smile when I wanted to cry.”  
Touching the rough stone, Ethan stood up.  
“Thank you. So much Tyler. I will never forget you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for sticking with me! You guys are the best!


End file.
